Adoption and Foster Care Symposium

You are invited to an Adoption and Foster care Symposium
Saturday November 6 from 10 30 am until 3 30 pm
Hosted by Hope Ministries at
Crosspointe Church
2601 24th Ave SE (just off Hwy 9)
Norman, OK


The symposium will feature speakers from International, Domestic and DHS adoptions as well as Foster Care information. Lunch and childcare is provided for those attending. A donation of a new article of childrens clothing is suggested, but not required, and will be used to provide for children in emergency foster care situations. This symposium is a one-stop-shopping spot for those families considering either fostering or adopting, with experts in a variety of adoption related fields answering questions in breakout sessions and an Information Fair.

Please RSVP to either hopeadoptions@gmail.com or our facebook event page (use the email address to find us on Facebook). We need to know who needs childcare and need a headcount for lunch! If you have any other questions, please contact La Deana Roberts @ 630-7600

Asking the Hard Questions

This is a story of a friend that I have grown to love and admire. I asked her if I could share this story knowing that it could help so many of us as we embark on adoption to make sure that our children and their birth families are protected in every way. Please read Charissa's story below and pray for their family!



"It is with great sadness and regret I announce that due to very difficult circumstances we will not be adopting the three children from Ethiopia that we committed to adopt.We hired Celebrate Children International (CCI) to facilitate our adoption. However, as time went on we became increasingly concerned and uneasy about the lack of answers we were getting, the defensiveness of the agency, and mostly, the fact that the agency was so heavily involved in the relinquishment process, when this is clearly a conflict of interest according to every other reputable agency we contacted.


We terminated our contract with CCI, hoping we could find some answers through a private investigation. We were able to find someone who could go to the orphanage personally to interview the children and their mothers. Our suspicions were confirmed by the mothers, CCI had approached these mothers and encouraged families to place their children for adoption to the United States. We have video of the director specifically telling the mother that she could easily find a new family for her child.


Other than the videos, we do not know what the mothers were told or whether they were offered anything in exchange, or why they didn't take the children back when they were offered them, but it was clear "our" three children are/were orphans as a direct result of an adoption agency recruiting and exploiting families and their children. We have been told the orphanage where the children have been residing has cut ties with CCI as well, stating they were also concerned about ethics that were being violated by the agency. The children are now listed with another more reputable agency. We feel peace knowing this new agency is now carefully investigating all the cases of the children at that orphanage who were previously listed with CCI.



It is my prayer that these investigations will result in the children being returned to their biological families.As you can imagine, this has been an extremely long and difficult three months for our entire family.CCI continues to practice in Ethiopia and will most likely continue these unethical practices. We have done what we can to report the evidence we have to the proper authorities, and the agency is now being investigated in Ethiopia and in Florida. Unfortunately when we called the state of Florida, we were told that there have been multiple complaints about CCI, many of them about similar unethical practices in Guatemala but there was little that can be done until Florida updates their laws to include international adoption. The US State Department can only challenge Hague accredited organizations. CCI was denied Hague accreditation and so they are exempt from US State Department scrutiny. There is a loophole that allows unethical and illegal activity to continue and it is explained in this article.We made the difficult decision to challenge our agency by asking them difficult questions. In doing so, we believe we have uncovered things that every adoptive family should be prepared to uncover.



Please pray with us that families can be restored, truth come to light, and that justice will be served. There are so many vulnerable children that are true orphans that do indeed need homes. We will always advocate adoption for those who truly need to be adopted. However, sadly, it has come to our attention that there is a great need for reform and accountability for those who profit from the adoption industry.


This adoption turned out much different than we prayed or imagined. We set out to do good by adopting a sweet little girl wearing a yellow dress, but we pray we have done a greater good by doing what we believe was the right thing to do. We are reminded that those kids were never 'our' kids, they were the Lord's all along. We have relinquished them back into His care, trusting that He will be their Defender, Protector, Father. I just thought you all should know. Thanks for your prayers and support. We are open to questions if you have any."



I will link their blog here in case you want to contact her for questions. May we all learn from the incredible questions that this family asked and decisions they made and may we all follow in their steps!

Definitions

Here are some words that you might hear during the adoption process, and what they mean. These are not "Blacks Law" or "Wikepedia" definitions. This is the layman version of the words!





Agency - Generally the word that refers to the Adoption Agency.





Alleged Father - someone a mother has alleged to be the father of a child, but no court has made a legal finding that he is the father.





AWOC - (Adoption Without Consent) - when a guardian or foster parent moves the court to terminate another parents rights and grant an adoption without the consent of the parent. Can also be a step parent adoption.





Birth Mother - The bioligical mother of the adopted child.





Cost Affidavit - The document you are required to fill out by law that states all the monies you have spent during the process of adoption.





Custodian - The person who has "legal" custody of the child until the adoption is finalized, generally this is DHS or an agency.





D.H.S. - Department of Human Services (in oklahoma referred to as OKDHS)





Domestication - When you have adopted someone in another country, you will want to have your adoption "Domesticated" in the United States.





Domestic Adoption - Adopting a child within the United States.





Finalization - After the parents rights are terminated, the court will move onto the "finalization" of the adoption. Most agencies will not allow finalization to occur until after the child has been in a home for 6 months and has shown to be safe and thriving.





Foster Care - When a child has been removed from a home by the department of human services and the parents are working on getting custody back - the child is placed in a home and this is referred to as Foster Care. (Kinship Foster Care - means a person with a prior relationship with the child - not necessarily a biological relative)





Homestudy - A Social worker comes to your home and does a series of checks on the home and the status of the child and the families bonding with the child. Items included in homestudies are: family members, income, housing information, savings, background checks, DHS history (if any), bonding with the child and the childs current information and medical history.





Lifebook - A book the prospective adoptive family makes for birthparents to review when choosing an adoptive family. This is also called a profile book.





OAC - Oklahoma Adoption Coalition





Probate - This is the court that oversee's adoptions. Generally referred to as the Probate Docket.





Public Defender - Attorney generally appointed in cases where a parent is contesting the adoption. (also known as a conflict attorney).





Transracial Adoption - Adoption by parents who are not the same race as the child/children.

Choosing a Lawyer....

Okay - when we went to the Adoption Task Force Meeting a couple weeks ago, one thing became entirely clear. Some attorneys take advantage of clients. From overcharging, to charging the client to LEARN what the law is, to coercing birth mothers to place a child from adoption etc. It was heartbreaking to hear of story after story where these things had happened. So here are some tips on finding a lawyer.



Where to start:

1. Ask other friends who have adopted who they have used and if they were satisfied.

2. Ask your agency who they recommend.

3. Call the local Bar Association and see who they recommend for Adoptions.

4. Interview multiple attorneys.



What to ask:

1. Will you have an employment contract? An ethical attorney will have a contract that lays out what you have hired them for, what the rate is, how you will be billed, what the retainer is, how you will be charged, etc.

2. How much do they anticipate it will cost? Some lawyers will agree to a flat rate, and some lawyers will want to be paid hourly. Both have their benefits. A flat rate, MIGHT cost you more, but you will know from day one what your costs will be. Hourly MIGHT be cheaper if the adoption moves smoothly. But if not, it would end up costing you. Never be afraid to ask for a discount or a lesser charge.

3. What types of payment do they take? cash, check, credit card or payment plan?

3. How many adoptions have they done? Where have they done them (what counties)?

4. Three references. Most attorneys WILL provide references. I know that sounds weird. But attorney's can give you client comments or references.



When to decide:

1. You want to have your attorney lined up quickly. You don't want wait until the child is born, especially if you have to hire an attorney to preform ALL parts of an adoption (relinquishment of rights and finalization) as opposed to just the finalization. Therefore, the attorney ideally will meet with the birth mother prior to the child's birth. In addition, any bargaining can be done PRIOR to the birth. Once the baby is born, there is NO time to shop.

2. You want to decide quickly because most GOOD attorneys will require a retainer. And depending on what you need done, it will be quite a bit of money. You will want to know up front.



Creative Ideas:

Adoption costs can be high. When it is time, if costs are tight, try calling a large law firm and see if someone can do an adoption pro bono. Ask lawyers for a payment plan. Call legal aid and see if they can help. But remember, you must do these things in advance, they take time. Molly said there might even be some grants to ease the financial burden. Also, MANY employers will help with adoption cost. Check with your workplace and your spouse's to see what needs to be done to apply for this.



Most of all...know your rights. Know that even if you are with an agency, YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO CHOOSE YOUR ATTORNEY. Most agencies will recommend lawyers, but remember when it comes down to it. It is your choice. And because it is our choice, we have to make sure that we are protecting our family, our child and their birth family.

Adoption/Foster Care Information!!!

I had to post about this because it's a wonderful event packed full of information.

Coming up next month there is a FREE symposium about adoption and foster care.

If you've ever been interested in either of these and need a place to get questions answered and meet professionals in this field... THIS IS THE EVENT!

Here is where you need to go!

I can't tell you how many times that people ask us questions because it's obvious we've adopted.

Then follows... "I've always wanted to adopt, BUT...

...I can't afford it."

...I don't know where to start."

...the information is overwhelming!"

So, if you've said that to me or if you've thought that please go to this event.

This group is committed to getting information into your hands and helping families make their dreams a reality!!!

Have a great day!

Transracial Parenting Workshop

I had to share this!

Our agency did a workshop in February and it was incredible. I blogged about it here and we had a wonderful discussion about race and issues that surface in transracial adoption.

So they are hosting another workshop and I am so excited. There will be a transracial adoptee/parent panel! What a wonderful resource for questions!

This is open to any couple that has adopted transracially. It does not matter if it was through another agency or anything. This is how our transracial playgroup got started!

Date: 9.12.09

Time: 9:30am -12:30pm

Location: DPAS offices, Brixton Square 7101 NW Expressway, Ste 325, OKC

Please RSVP to Catherine Howe and prepay by 9.7.09

Here is a link to their site or call 405.949.4200

It is $20 per couple. Brunch snacks provided and children under 6 months are welcome.

Hope to see you there!