Sunday, March 15, 2009

It's Molly!

If only you could hear the excitement in my voice when I said that! I am way too excited about this stuff.

I am momma #2 to introduce myself! I am Molly Shockley, mother to 3, Owen, Cooper and Sadie through the miracle of adoption.

I have been touched by adoption throughout my life and a little over 4 years ago walked into the blessing of adoption myself with my best friend and hubby, Blake. I could talk your ear off (and to many of you I have) about how adoption has changed my life. I don't see the world the same way. I have a passion for this process and how it changes and touches so many people.

But just like any journey, adoption can bring much heartache. Some of this I have experienced first hand, and some I have watched dear friends go through.

Let me tell you a little about how this change in the current law would have helped in our situations. In our second adoption, the birth mother changed her mind a couple days before court. We had our son in our home for almost 2 weeks. I understand completely why she changed her mind. I think it's incredibly hard to make the decision to place a child for adoption. Heart-wrenching might explain that best. But, in her grief of losing him and the unimaginable pain it caused, she changed her mind. Let me tell you....when we got that call that she had changed her mind...we seriously considered running with our sweet son but decided that being fugitives might keep us from ever being able to adopt again!

I don't want to share our son's whole story just to protect him and his birth mother, who we love and admire dearly. So, I will just tell you the fabulous ending is that we HAVE HIM in our home. We only lost him for 2 days. It was the longest and hardest 2 days of our life. We would have done anything to have been able to have rights relinquished in the hospital.

With our 3rd adoption, Mommy G repeatedly asked me to pray for her and her court date. She was terrified of being in front of a judge and having to answer such difficult questions. I would be too. She had never stepped foot in a court room, much less by herself and then to be questioned about her heroic decision to place her child for adoption. I almost think it might deter some women just knowing they have to do this. I know Mommy G would have opted to sign papers in the hospital and not have to go through that anxiety.

I often get sad that people steer clear of adoption because of fear, the unknown and the vulnerability it involves. The bottom line is that our Savior never promised us a life without pain, a life that was easy or that we would always be in control. We do things everyday that have much worse statistics than adoption. For example, marriage. One in every two marriages fail and I rarely hear people say things like, "Well, I just couldn't stand the thought of divorce so I won't even open my heart to marriage." I hear that about adoption almost daily.

So, this blog is going to be used to ENCOURAGE adoption. We want to find ways to help others trust God in his plan for their family and do it with excitement instead of a heart of fear. We want to focus on God and seeking Him first and foremost rather than focusing on the statistics of what might happen. As Stephen Curtis Chapman brought to my attention last year...If 7% of Christians did something for adoption, orphans and foster care....there would be no such thing as a child without a family. Only 7% people! And that just means help, be it financially, adopting, serving or fostering...just 7%!


Becki Francy said...

I am with you molly. Is it okay to post on my own blog? I say so....I hope we can change it for birthmom's...there is no reason to drag them through the ringer....or to embarrass them...Why not let them do it quietly in a room with someone they have known and worked with for months....the process should be smooth for EVERYONE involved.

patti said...

hey ladies....I just can't wait for more. seriously I had to check back to see who else is going to share.

Molly, I am a Kamp friend of becki and I've been reading your blog since becki and reconnected a couple months ago. Wow, what a story! Thanks for sharing your heart and is an amazing testimony. I have a dear friend who has gone through the adoption process and when I found your blog I gave it to her. To no surprise, she loves it and I know a comfort for her to read.

and the 7%, that is well, amazing yet eye opening. Great that it would only take that many yet sad that so far we haven't reached that percentage to help. Thanks for opening my eyes and heart to an important issue in our world.

Laura said...

Wow, Molly girl....God has given you a way with words! I love and agree with every word you spoke. I will NEVER forget you calling me and telling me that we had to give Cooper back...the fear and sadness in your voice. I praise God that Cooper is forever a part of our family....and all of the kids for that matter! I think it is so cute how Sadie has learned how to "smile" at the camera! Cracks me up!

Fether said...

So...when is the tv spot airing? You have such a gift and calling for this mission! I want to be part of the I will encourage and support and who knows...maybe even be open to the idea of one more kiddo?!?! We'll see..Love your heart!!

Anonymous said...

I commit to apart of that 7% Molly!
Theresa Dunn