Thursday, June 18, 2009

What Are YOU doing?

This is not a post to call you out. But of course, we feel called to do something for orphans in Oklahoma. Not everyone is called to adopt, so today - you get the perspective of someone who is NOT going to adopt a child.....EVER. So - did that get your attention? I hope it did. Offended? Don't be.

You see I thought I was going to adopt. I thought I would adopt my firstborn. Her name was (IS) Grace. We were picked by her birthmom and we were scheduled to meet "R" (our birthmom) on July 25th, 2006 - that date is forever etched in my memory. But on July 6th, I found out I was pregnant. Many of you think I would have been elated - I was devastated. I had bonded to what I thought was going to be my baby.....but it wasn't to be. So I did actually have a baby, in February of 2007. But in my mind, the pregnancy was a miracle and there wasn't any way I would get pregnant again. So after my daughter was about ten months old, my husband and I started to look at an adoption agency again, and fill out the paperwork. Yep - I filled out paperwork to adopt my second child.....but in February of 2008 - I found out I was pregnant AGAIN. My husband and I only want two children, at one point, I thought I wanted three - but with two, I realize this is what our family is going to be.

So is that the end of my adoption story? No....I might not be an "adoptive mom", but we are all called to do something. So I took a good look at myself to see what I can do for the "adoption community". For starters - I am a lawyer. Ha! Not always highly looked upon - even in the adoption community. BUT - that is something that I can use to help the community. So - with my sister, I am working on changing legislation. But that is a SLOW process, so in the mean time, what else can I do? So - I do adoptions....for free. Not for everyone - don't all start calling. But for family, close friends, and some from our church family. I am currently working on two. My husband and I have decided that since we feel so strongly about adoption, that since we won't be adopting, we would like to "fund" someone else to adopt a child. Of course - with me not working full time or working for free, we won't be doing that any time soon, but we have a goal to pay for an adoption.
This is Molly adding this picture. This is of Becki, Blake and I, Cooper and Sadie on Sadie's Gotcha Day when we were in court. Such a wonderful gift for our finalization to be free!

Why in the world am I telling you this? (I am sure you are like - what is this? Does this lady just want a pat on the back?) No - although I like my back pats! I want you to open your mind up and see what YOU can do to help the adoptive community? To help orphans? What are your gifts, strengths? Want some ideas?

1. Take clothes by the local "children's shelter" in your area.

2. Take a handful of movie tickets for the teens at the local shelter.

3. Take by pizzas for a pizza dinner for the shelter.

4. Buy "white water" or "big splash" tickets for the kids at the shelter and drop them off.

5. Host a picnic, cook out, ice cream party for the shelter.

6. Become a foster parent. (OK that one is big - thought I would sneak it in there!)

7. Get involved in POA - write a PSA for us to play on local radio stations.

8. Go to meetings at the Capitol in OKC for the Adoption Task Force.

9. Go to your local adoption agency and make a donation.

10. Volunteer as a Child Advocate for CASA.

Many of you donated money for the birth mother retreat for Mother's Day. These were the baskets that were given to each birth mom who attended. They were beyond blessed. To see more go here to see the story.

The point is, at the end of the day....what are you doing with your time? Will it make a lasting impact on someone's life?

I want to end this with a personal story. I don't mention this a lot, but I am a prosecutor. For years, my sole job was to prosecute parents and terminate their parental rights to their children, for reasons of physical abuse, sexual abuse, neglect, deprivation, lack of medical care, etc. It was/is a rewarding job. The last child I removed from her home, was a sweet baby girl. I had removed her two biological sisters years earlier. Her birthmom still had not corrected her "problem", so this tiny one was removed. She was placed with her sisters. After serving her parents, neither showed for Court - they knew where this was headed. I obviously had a good working relationship with the "foster parents" who choose to adopt this little girl (and her sisters). One day, as I was sitting in my office, the adoptive mom called me, she asked if I had time to talk. Of course - for her I did. She gently started telling me of the adoption pending, how they wanted me to attend and that they had chosen a name for the baby. She would be called....Becki. Is there a better reward than that?

My something....anything, this week, and please e-mail us, send a pic, even just post a comment....Let us know how you can help.


G & H said...

Awesome awesome post! Thank you so much for sharing and for DOING SOMETHING! I definitley have felt my heart strings being pulled to a local maternity home for young teens in our community. I heard yesterday they might close down because of finances which would leave 12 young women homeless and pregnant....

Thank you for reminding me to ACT not just think about it!

Chassidy said...

AMAZING POST. If this doesn't get people to "act" I don't know what else will. I love the part that you don't have to actually adopt a child to make a difference. Thank you for sharing what was on your heart....

Raylea said...

Hey, let me know if I can ever help with some Piggies&Paws...I think it would be a treasured gift for a birth mom!(

Jamila said...

Wow Becki! Just giving you a pat on the back or an Amen Sister is not enough. I will continue to pray to see what God has in store for us in terms of adoption. In the mean time I can still DO something. Thanks for reminding me that!

HaleyP said...

We are foster parents! Currently taking a couple month break from our last placement. Taking another child in about two months..once we get moved and settled! Loved the post! So much to be done that doesn't involve actually adopting or fostering. Keep up the positive energy!!