Thursday, August 27, 2009

Giveaway....



We have an awesome girl from my church, Raylea Whiteman, who is donating a "Piggies and Paws" to our cause. So we thought the best giveaway would be to a Birthmom. Nothing more beautiful than a permanent piece of art work with her baby's feet and hand prints. If you have ever seen these they are so stinking adorable. Take a little time to view the link above to see how cute these are!


Anywho - here is the give away. Leave a comment about your birthmom, and on September 8th, 2009 we will take all the comments put them in a hat and draw!

Saturday, August 22, 2009

It's go time!

If you live in Oklahoma, or know someone that does...I need your help! I am begging you!



Most of you know that for months now we've been working to draw attention to some adoption laws that we believe need attention.

In this mission, I have found an incredible team of professionals that come together monthly to address such needs in the adoption community. I have attended the last two adoption task force meetings and I am continued to be amazed at what all these people are doing. It is such a privilege to just be able to hear what they are doing and watch it all happen right before my eyes. There are judges, DHS representatives, adoption agencies, a public defender and now a birth mother, an adoptive mother and an adult adoptee.

At this last meeting Representative Jason Nelson shared that he has received a lot of requests for issues to be addressed by the task force. I am hoping that some of these requests were about Cooper's Law, but I know that there are lots of adoptive families out there that feel the need to have their concerns addressed! Then he asked the task force if they would be okay asking some families to share with the group their story and why they needed the task force to consider their concerns!!! I was sitting in the back of the room and almost fell out of my chair. How cool would it be for Cooper's Law and Cooper's story to be shared with so many that feel just as passionate about this as I do???

So, I am begging you. If you haven't written Representative Jason Nelson or Senator Steve Russell yet, please do! If you have and you could do so again, PLEASE DO! From what I understand this task force has a lot of weight on what issues in adoption will actually be addressed or changed! If anyone will hear me out, it will be this group. If you do write him please make reference to Cooper's Law. If you know of a personal adoption story in which you think relinquishment in the hospital could have kept an adoption in place that ended up falling through, please share that in your letter or email. Remember that our intent with this change is to protect the child and the birth parent's choice. Our goal here is that birth mothers who want to sign papers in the hospital (or at their agency) can do so without having to sit before a judge.


You can share my name if you want, but you don't have to. I am going to write them again today (for the 4th time). Oh my goodness, I can't believe I have become "one of those people"! But, I will never forget those weeks as we were losing Cooper and feeling so helpless. There was nothing we could do to keep him. I think that feeling is fueling me. In the midst of that journey I felt like it was just a part of adoption and something that had to be risked, but now I know better. Many states are doing this differently and there is no reason why we should continue in something that is not working. And because of that, I feel like I have to at least try to do something. Another incredible thing is that Cooper's birthmom supports this 100% and only wishes this had been in place long ago.
These 3 were some of those that were taken the day we lost Cooper. We were saying good-bye to our sweet baby boy.

On another note, many of you have asked if I had heard if I had been chosen to be on the task force. I found out yesterday that I did not. I joked about not being qualified, and boy was I right! The mom they chose is a wonderful pick as she wrote the bill that in its approval put into affect the adoption task force...she deserves to be on it!


Let's get busy writing some letters/emails! If you click on the representative or senators names it is linked to their info. If you can only write one, please address Rep. Jason Nelson as he was the one addressing the task force with this idea! THANK YOU IN ADVANCE!!!

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Transracial Parenting Workshop

I had to share this!
Our agency did a workshop in February and it was incredible. I blogged about it here and we had a wonderful discussion about race and issues that surface in transracial adoption.

So they are hosting another workshop and I am so excited. There will be a transracial adoptee/parent panel! What a wonderful resource for questions!

This is open to any couple that has adopted transracially. It does not matter if it was through another agency or anything. This is how our transracial playgroup got started!

Date: 9.12.09
Time: 9:30am -12:30pm
Location: DPAS offices, Brixton Square 7101 NW Expressway, Ste 325, OKC

Please RSVP to Catherine Howe and prepay by 9.7.09
Here is a link to their site or call 405.949.4200



It is $20 per couple. Brunch snacks provided and children under 6 months are welcome.

Hope to see you there!

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Cooper's Law...it's long!!!!

Section 7503 – 2.3 Permanent Relinquishment
A. A permanent relinquishment may be executed by a person whose consent to the adoption of a minor is required by Section 7503-2.1 of this title. The permanent relinquishment shall be in writing and shall relinquish all of that individual's rights with respect to the minor, including legal and physical custody and the right to consent to the minor's adoption.
B. Permanent relinquishments may be made only to:
1. The Department of Human Services;
2. A child-placing agency; or
3. Any other person, with the written consent of the Department or court.
C. A permanent relinquishment shall be either:
1. In writing, executed before a judge of the district court in this state, recorded by a court reporter and contain:
a. The date, place, and time of the execution of the permanent relinquishment;
b. The name and date of birth of the person executing the permanent relinquishment;
c. The current mailing address, telephone number and social security number of the person executing the permanent relinquishment;
d. Instructions that the permanent relinquishment is irrevocable, except upon the specific grounds specified in Section 7503-2.7 of this title, upon which the permanent relinquishment can be revoked and the manner in which a motion to set aside the permanent relinquishment must be filed; and
e. The name of the person or agency as described in subsection B of this section to whom the permanent relinquishment is being given and who shall have the right to give consent to the minor's adoption, OR
2. Signed after the birth of the child, but not before 48 hours after the birth of the child, by the parent, whether or not a minor, whose parental rights are to be relinquished; witnessed by two credible persons; and verified before a person authorized to take oaths
(A) The affidavit must contain:
1. The name, county of residence, and age of the parent whose parental rights are being relinquished;
2. The name, age and birth date of the child;
3. The names and addresses of the guardians of the person and estate of the child, if any:
4. A statement that the affiant is or is not presently obligated by court order to make payment for the support of the child;
5. A full description and statement of value of all property owned or possessed by the child;
6. An allegation that termination of the parent-child relationship is in the best interest of the child;
7. One of the following, as applicable:
(a)The name and county of residence of the other parent;
(b) A statement that the parental rights of the other parent have been terminated by death or court order, or
(c) A statement that the child has no presumed father
8. A statement that the parent has been informed of parental rights and duties;
9. A statement that the relinquishment is revocable, that the relinquishment is irrevocable, or that the relinquishment is irrevocable for a stated period of time;
10. If the relinquishment is revocable, a statement in boldfaced type concerning the right of the parent signing the affidavit to revoke the relinquishment only if the revocation is made before the 11th day after the date the affidavit is executed;
11. If the relinquishment is revocable, the name and address of a person to whom the revocation is to be delivered; and
12. The designation of a prospective adoption parent, the Department of Human Services, if the department has consented in writing to the designation, or a licensed child-placing agency to serve as managing conservator of the child and the address of the person or agency.
(B) The Affidavit may contain:
(1) A waiver of process in a suit to terminate the parent-child relationship filed under this chapter or in a suit to terminate joined with a petition for adoption; and
(2) A consent to the placement of the child for adoption by the Department of Human Services or by a licensed child-placing agency.
(C) A copy of the affidavit shall be provided to the parent at the time that the parent signs the affidavit.
(D) The relinquishment in an affidavit that designates the Department of Human Services or a licensed child-placing agency to serve as the managing conservator is irrevocable. A relinquishment in any other affidavit of relinquishment is revocable unless it expressly provides that it is irrevocable for a stated period of time not to exceed sixty days after the date of it’s execution.
(E) A relinquishment in an affidavit of relinquishment of parental rights that fails to state that the relinquishment is irrevocable, is revocable for a period of 72 hours.
(F) To revoke a relinquishment under subsection (e) the parent must sign a statement witnessed by two credible persons and verified before a person authorized to take oaths. A copy of the revocation shall be delivered to the person designated in the affidavit. If a parent attempting to revoke a relinquishment under this subsection has knowledge that a suit for termination of the parent-child relationship has been filed based on the parent’s affidavit of relinquishment of parental rights, the parent shall file a copy of the revocation with the clerk of the court.
(G) The affidavit may not contain terms for limited post-termination contact between the child and the parent whose parental rights are to be relinquished as a condition of the relinquishment of parental rights.
D. Any permanent relinquishment must state:
1. That the person executing the document is voluntarily and unequivocally consenting to the adoption of the minor;
2. An understanding that after the permanent relinquishment is executed, it is final and, except for fraud or duress, may not be revoked or set aside for any reason except as otherwise authorized by the Oklahoma Adoption Code;
3. That the person executing the permanent relinquishment is represented by counsel or has waived any right to counsel;
4. That the execution of the permanent relinquishment does not terminate any duty of the person executing the permanent relinquishment to support the mother or the minor until the adoption is completed;
5. That the person executing the permanent relinquishment has not received or been promised any money or anything of value for the permanent relinquishment, except for payments authorized by law;
6. Whether the individual executing the permanent relinquishment is a member of an Indian tribe and whether the minor is eligible for membership or the minor is a member of an Indian tribe;
7. That the person believes the adoption of the minor is in the minor's best interest; and
8. That the person executing the permanent relinquishment has been advised that an adult adopted person born in Oklahoma, whose decree of adoption is finalized after November 1, 1997, may obtain a copy of such person's original certificate of birth unless affidavits of nondisclosure have been filed pursuant to Section 7503-2.5 of this title and that the relinquishing parent may sign an affidavit of nondisclosure.
E. When it appears to the court that the parent or guardian executing a permanent relinquishment or affidavit desires counsel but is indigent and cannot for that reason employ counsel, the court shall appoint counsel shall be appointed or provided. In all counties having county indigent defenders, the county indigent defenders shall assume the duties of representation in such proceedings.
F. The transcript of the court proceedings or affidavit pursuant to this section shall be placed in the court record.
G. The verification of the court shall be in substantially the following form:
I, ____________________, Judge of the District Court in and for _________________ County, State of Oklahoma, a Court having original adoption jurisdiction, do hereby certify, that upon this day, ________________ personally appeared in open Court, before me, and orally and in writing executed the above and foregoing permanent relinquishment for adoption.
In executing this acknowledgment, I further certify that the said ___________________ acknowledged that the person executed said relinquishment to adoption freely and voluntarily, and that it was explained to such person by or before me, the undersigned Judge of the District Court, that in executing the relinquishment, the person was surrendering all parental authority whatsoever over the minor; and that with such explanation made to the person relinquishing the minor by or before me, the undersigned Judge of the District Court, the person executed the relinquishment, freely, voluntarily and intelligently for all uses and purposes therein set forth.
I further certify that it was explained to the relinquishing person that this relinquishment is irrevocable and final except for fraud or duress and may not be revoked or set aside except and unless no Petition to Adopt is filed within nine (9) months after placement of the minor or if this or some other court decides not to terminate the rights of the other parent of the minor. I further certify that I am satisfied that the relinquishing person understands the consequences of an adoption; the relinquishing person has represented that such person has not received or been promised any money or anything of value for the giving of the permanent relinquishment except for those payments authorized by law; the relinquishing person has represented that such person is not under the influence of alcohol or medication or any other substance that affects the person's competence; the person fully understood the English language and communicated in the English language at all times during said hearing, or all information was translated into the relinquishing person's language, and was fully understood by the person; and if the relinquishing person was the biological parent, such parent was advised regarding the affidavit of nondisclosure.
H. A permanent relinquishment shall be signed before any judge of a court having probate or adoption jurisdiction in this state or in the state of residence of the person executing the permanent relinquishment, unless relinquishment is done by affidavit pursuant to (C)(2) of this section.
I. 1. a. If an individual permanently relinquishing the child resides in a country or place other than the United States of America, other than a member of the United States Armed Services stationed abroad, the permanent relinquishment of the individual may be obtained by a written instrument signed by such person and acknowledged before an officer of the legal subdivision of the government of the place of such person's residence who is authorized to administer oaths under the laws of such country or place.
b. If the foreign country's government does not involve itself in adoption matters, the permanent relinquishment may be executed before an officer of the Judge Advocate General's Office of the United States Armed Services or before an officer of the United States Embassy located in that country, provided the execution of a permanent relinquishment is not a violation of the laws of the foreign country, or a violation of international law or treaty between the foreign country's government and the United States. The permanent relinquishment shall reflect that the permanent relinquishment is not given or accepted in violation of the laws of the foreign country or in violation of international law or treaty between such foreign country's government and the United States.
2. If an individual permanently relinquishing the child is a member of the United States Armed Services stationed in a country or place other than the United States, the individual's permanent relinquishment may be acknowledged before an officer of the Judge Advocate General's Office or other legal officer possessing the authority to administer oaths.
J. If the written instrument containing a permanent relinquishment is written in a language other than the English language, the petitioner must have it translated into the English language by a person qualified to do so, and must file the original instrument together with the translation with the court. The translation must be sworn to as being a true and correct translation by the person translating the document.
K. Except as otherwise required by subsection I of this section, when the person permanently relinquishing the child for the purposes of adoption resides outside of Oklahoma, the permanent relinquishment by such person may be executed in that state or country in the manner set forth in the Oklahoma Adoption Code or in the manner prescribed by the laws of the state or country of such person's residence.
L. 1. A court before which a permanent relinquishment has been executed may enter an order terminating parental rights of the parent of a child if such parent has executed a permanent relinquishment for adoption pursuant to the Oklahoma Adoption Code. may enter an order terminating parental rights of the parent of a child if such parent has executed a permanent relinquishment for adoption pursuant to the either provision of the Oklahoma Adoption Code.
2. Any order terminating parental rights of a parent pursuant to this subsection shall state that the termination of parental rights shall not terminate the duty of the parent to support the child of such parent. The duty of the parent to support the child shall not be terminated until such time as a final decree of adoption has been entered.
3. Any proceedings held pursuant to this section shall not require the state as a necessary party.