Saturday, August 22, 2009

It's go time!

If you live in Oklahoma, or know someone that does...I need your help! I am begging you!

Most of you know that for months now we've been working to draw attention to some adoption laws that we believe need attention.

In this mission, I have found an incredible team of professionals that come together monthly to address such needs in the adoption community. I have attended the last two adoption task force meetings and I am continued to be amazed at what all these people are doing. It is such a privilege to just be able to hear what they are doing and watch it all happen right before my eyes. There are judges, DHS representatives, adoption agencies, a public defender and now a birth mother, an adoptive mother and an adult adoptee.

At this last meeting Representative Jason Nelson shared that he has received a lot of requests for issues to be addressed by the task force. I am hoping that some of these requests were about Cooper's Law, but I know that there are lots of adoptive families out there that feel the need to have their concerns addressed! Then he asked the task force if they would be okay asking some families to share with the group their story and why they needed the task force to consider their concerns!!! I was sitting in the back of the room and almost fell out of my chair. How cool would it be for Cooper's Law and Cooper's story to be shared with so many that feel just as passionate about this as I do???

So, I am begging you. If you haven't written Representative Jason Nelson or Senator Steve Russell yet, please do! If you have and you could do so again, PLEASE DO! From what I understand this task force has a lot of weight on what issues in adoption will actually be addressed or changed! If anyone will hear me out, it will be this group. If you do write him please make reference to Cooper's Law. If you know of a personal adoption story in which you think relinquishment in the hospital could have kept an adoption in place that ended up falling through, please share that in your letter or email. Remember that our intent with this change is to protect the child and the birth parent's choice. Our goal here is that birth mothers who want to sign papers in the hospital (or at their agency) can do so without having to sit before a judge.

You can share my name if you want, but you don't have to. I am going to write them again today (for the 4th time). Oh my goodness, I can't believe I have become "one of those people"! But, I will never forget those weeks as we were losing Cooper and feeling so helpless. There was nothing we could do to keep him. I think that feeling is fueling me. In the midst of that journey I felt like it was just a part of adoption and something that had to be risked, but now I know better. Many states are doing this differently and there is no reason why we should continue in something that is not working. And because of that, I feel like I have to at least try to do something. Another incredible thing is that Cooper's birthmom supports this 100% and only wishes this had been in place long ago.
These 3 were some of those that were taken the day we lost Cooper. We were saying good-bye to our sweet baby boy.

On another note, many of you have asked if I had heard if I had been chosen to be on the task force. I found out yesterday that I did not. I joked about not being qualified, and boy was I right! The mom they chose is a wonderful pick as she wrote the bill that in its approval put into affect the adoption task force...she deserves to be on it!

Let's get busy writing some letters/emails! If you click on the representative or senators names it is linked to their info. If you can only write one, please address Rep. Jason Nelson as he was the one addressing the task force with this idea! THANK YOU IN ADVANCE!!!


Jessica said...

Consider it done!

Also, those pictures of you saying goodbye (temporarily) to Cooper literally broke my heart in two. It brought back many memories of watching our son's birthmom say her goodbyes, and the weeks passing where we weren't sure if we'd have to do the same.

The law is SO important. I can't imagine being young and making such a difficult decision like adoption one time, let alone having to stand before a judge in a scary courtroom weeks later only to make the decision all over again in front of strangers. The birthmothers should be given the tools and chances to begin their healing, not worry and second guess themselves leading up to a court date (like they're doing something wrong or something).

Thanks for taking this cause on and for keeping us updated!

Becki Francy said...

I did my part....sent the letter...

Anonymous said...

As an adoptee...birth mothers AND fathers should have to go to court and have a judge who is not biased ask the tough questions. Birth mothers should not be able to sign relinquishment papers any other place.

Molly said...

Thank you anonymous for your input on this topic. I am sorry that we disagree, but I think your concern is valid...we share the same concern. Our current system is not working to prevent coercion and we need to not ignore that fact. We just believe there are other ways to go about making sure a mother is aware of her rights and choices. Please join us in praying for this very sensitive subject until we can find a way to protect everyone in the process.