Conference 8046

On Thursday, October 27th, 2011 at Battle Creek Church in Broken Arrow, OK a collaboration of churches and the Office of Faith Based Initiatives will host Conference 8046. A movement to get churches involved in supporting local orphans. In January 2011, 8046 were in states custody. For information about the Conference click HERE . Also please take time to hear from the mouth of an Oklahoma orphan...and her finding her forever family by clicking HERE. There are too many children in Oklahoma Shelters and Foster Homes. Going does not mean you have to adopt or foster, but you should participate in SOME way in the life of a child. So far only 170 have registered to attend in the Tulsa County area. Everyone is welcome. It is entirely free all you have to do is register (Click HERE to do so).

DHS Waiting Child...

Today I found the new website for Oklahoma's Waiting Child. I have been sitting here for about an hour staring at Elmer, tears streaming down my face. He is the waiting child of the month. He is beautiful. I am wondering when he will find his family. HERE is a link to the website. Take a look at Elmer....I can't stop looking at him! I also found a neat "thing" we have here in Oklahoma. It is called the Waiting Child Heart Gallery. HERE is the link to the Tour Schedule so that when the Waiting Child Heart Gallery is near you - you can go visit!

Education on the Adoption Tax Credit

Hey guys! Your accountant doesn't know what to do on your behalf if you don't tell them. Read this quick article to educate yourself on the Adoption Tax Credit. It takes about twenty to thirty minutes to read, and it could make you some quick cash! I had a client who thought she could claim '0' on her tax returns. Now she is claiming the entire $13,000 + because of what she learned in this short article! So please, for your sake - and for the sake of your pocket book! READ THIS

Adoption and Foster Care Symposium

You are invited to an Adoption and Foster care Symposium
Saturday November 6 from 10 30 am until 3 30 pm
Hosted by Hope Ministries at
Crosspointe Church
2601 24th Ave SE (just off Hwy 9)
Norman, OK


The symposium will feature speakers from International, Domestic and DHS adoptions as well as Foster Care information. Lunch and childcare is provided for those attending. A donation of a new article of childrens clothing is suggested, but not required, and will be used to provide for children in emergency foster care situations. This symposium is a one-stop-shopping spot for those families considering either fostering or adopting, with experts in a variety of adoption related fields answering questions in breakout sessions and an Information Fair.

Please RSVP to either hopeadoptions@gmail.com or our facebook event page (use the email address to find us on Facebook). We need to know who needs childcare and need a headcount for lunch! If you have any other questions, please contact La Deana Roberts @ 630-7600

Adoption Option Number 2

Okay, so the second option for adoption in Oklahoma is by using an adoption agency. I feel like I could seriously write a book about this, so I will try and touch on the important things!

The agency works as an advocate for both the adoptive family and birth parent wanting to choose placement for their child. The agency counsels both the birth parents and adoptive parents before the actual adoption takes place. Most agencies have some sort of training and also an application process.

The cost for using an agency in Oklahoma can be anywhere from $3,500-$25,000. Usually this amount is paid over the course of the adoption with a large amount paid after placement. They are so smart waiting until you have your sweet something in your arms to then ask for the big bucks! And can I tell you, IT'S SO WORTH IT! I have never been more excited to write such a big check...but you've got your bundle of love in your arms and you've experienced one of God's most amazing miracles of adoption! Well talk more about cost later...

The hardest part to starting this process is to choose your agency. A good place to start is the website for the Oklahoma Adoption Coalition linked on the right of our blog. They have a list of placing agencies. I would encourage you to ask around and talk to friends who have adopted that could give you advice. When you are looking online, you can generally tell if the agency has the same agenda as you. Are they a Christian agency or do they share the same beliefs? What do they offer birth parents as far as counseling and support? Is the counseling free? If so, for how long? I got frustrated because one agency said they do offer counseling but it was half price for the birth parent. Another agency said they offer free counseling, but when I asked for how long it was only until 2 months after placement. What? This is something that birth mothers will deal with off and on for years...2 months is an insult (but I guess it's better than half price?)! Make sure that your agency has a good handle on respect of birth parents and that there is no coercing going on to place the child. The agency should never bring up adoption unless the parent is seeking placement or information on placement.

When you are researching agencies think about your new child and family. What are you going to need as far as support in 5-10 years. Does this agency provide any kind of post-adoption care for the family and child? Do they have get togethers, seminars, support groups, classes, camps?

It's so easy when starting this process to focus on placement and feeling the need for it to happen as quickly, care free and cheap as possible... Remember there is a reason that adoption costs money, the agency does a lot of terribly hard work and they need to be paid just like any other hard working individual. The cost in adoption falls on those that can pay and that have resources...the adoptive family. So if you need to think about it this way, keep your focus that you are helping your child's birth parent survive this. This is the most painful thing that a person will go through in their life, choosing placement for their child. It takes a lot of support to survive it.

There can be grants available for funding if that is a problem. Some agencies have those grants available for "hard to place" babies (African American, exposures to drugs, alcohol, etc). Some agencies allow for donations to be made for a specific adopting couple that are tax deductible. Check with your church. Several churches are starting adoption ministries that will help grant money to pay for adoptions. Most any couple you talk to about how they afford adoption will tell you that God made it happen. There are miracles left and right about how God works it out! Take a leap of faith!

Generally speaking, domestic adoption in Oklahoma can be rather quick. Wait time from "ready" to placement can be two weeks to two years. This usually depends on what specifics you have placed on the child you are open to (race, exposures, open/closed adoption, etc.). Most agencies allow for the birth parent to pick the adoptive family. There usually is no "match" like in international adoption.

Most agencies encourage some degree of open adoption. This could be anything from pictures and updates twice a year to visits, phone calls, emails on a monthly basis. Most of the time agencies still encourage some confidentiality, so there aren't visits at homes or baby sitting and such. People always ask me that, so that is why I addressed what "open" can mean! Having an open adoption is not legally binding. The adoption is still complete/final, but there is a written agreement of contact between the birth parent and adoptive parent. Most of the time this agreement fluctuates as the relationship grows and changes. The adoptive parent and the birth parent can choose what they want their adoption to look like as far as openness. I will have to devote a whole post to open adoption...I could go on and on here!

After a child is placed in your home, the birth parent sets a court date to relinquish rights. After this is complete the child is really in legal custody of the agency and the family is more like foster care. For the next 6 months you have home studies, interviews and check ups to make sure the child is safe and thriving in the new family. Once this period has lapsed the agency releases you to legally adopt the child. Now you take your attorney and get a court date set for finalization! The only hard waiting time is from leaving the hospital with your baby to the court date for the birth parents rights. Once this has been completed, you can rest easy praying that you can pass the interviews! Ha!

Hope this has been helpful. Please post any questions or comments so that we can address anything that I have missed!

Adoption Option, Number 1

In the next few days, or weeks, we are going to give you the Adoption Options as they stand in Oklahoma. So today, the first option available to families, is through the Department of Human Services. To make it simple and to the point. There are mainly two ways in which you may adopt children through DHS.

The first way to adopt a child through the Department of Human Services (hereinafter DHS) is to foster children. Click HERE to find out how to become a foster parent. The good side of this is that you do not have to pay to become a foster parent, in fact, you are paid to foster children in the State of Oklahoma. In addition, the children will have their own health insurance, DHS will pay for daycare if it is needed, and you will receive a monthly stipend. The downside to this, you have DHS in your home, you are restricted in your parenting methods (such as discipline) and you MUST take a training course, which is about seven weeks. But again, I must point out....it is biblical, and it is FREE. In addition, if the child placed in your home becomes eligible for adoption, the legal services finalizing the adoption are paid for by OKDHS. Therefore, this is really the only FREE method of adoption in Oklahoma.

The second way is to apply to adopt a "waiting child". These children are typically older children, mixed races, sibling groups or special needs. But wonderful, beautiful, loving little creations that need a home and a forever family. Click HERE on how to adopt through DHS. The only expense to the family is the medical exam that each family member must have prior to finalization. Click HERE to see some of the precious children right here in Oklahoma, waiting on a family.

So that is lesson number one on adoption options....please ask questions and check back for updates and answers to those questions.

***It was brought to my attention that you may have to pay for a physical which costs approximately $50. You will incur this cost!

Oklahoma Statistics.....

In Oklahoma, we are never forced to face the facts. Here are some hard facts that came from a recent audit done of the Oklahoma Department of Human Services (OKDHS). Although DHS does the best that it can with the resources available. Following are some recent (2007) statistics. Here are the top ten:

10. Only sixty (60) percent of children removed from their homes by the State are ever reunified with their parents.

9. In 2007 alone, 573 children aged out of the foster care system....and were never adopted.

8. Only 40% of children adopted from DHS are adopted from their foster care parents.

7. In 2007, 506 children who were waiting adoption had been in the system for MORE than five years.

6. The average age of a child adopted through DHS is 6.5 years old.

5. Eleven (11) percent of children are placed in permanent guardianship's, eight (8) percent age out of the system, Nineteen (19) percent of children are adopted and sixty (60) percent are reunified. The other two (2) percent of children either run away or die in foster care.

4. Forty-six (46) percent of children in foster care are adopted by their family.

3. Sadly, in Oklahoma, 20% of waiting children are African American while only 11% are being adopted, 15% of children are Hispanic while only 12% are being adopted, 22% are multiracial and only 16% are being adopted, 8% are native american and 11% are being adopted, and 35% of children are Caucasian and a staggering 49% are being adopted. Clearly Caucasian children are being preferred.

2. Once a child reaches the age of 9, the likelihood of being adopted drops significantly.

1. 4,628 foster children in Oklahoma are waiting to be adopted.

There is something that you can do. Call 1-866-512-2565.

Reminder for Foster Care Support Groups - Tulsa County

I recently met with a neat lady who leads a Foster Care Support Group in the Tulsa County Area. Although, anyone is invited to attend these meetings. Maryleta Ayers is the President of Tulsa County Resource Family Association. They basically support foster families and children in foster care. Maryleta is passionate about what she does. And she does not just speak about foster parenting, she is a foster parent. AND she is an adoptive parent, to the tune of NINE children, either biological, fostering or adopting. And I don't mean she has only had nine children in her home. I mean she has (and I hope I get this right) three biological, three adopted and she is fostering three that she soon hopes to adopt! She is a wealth of information.
In addition, it is my understanding that foster parents have a type of "continued education" they must complete every year. Maryleta says attending this support group qualifies you for one credit! So not only do you get the support of sharing with other foster parents, you get credit for it! This is a win win!!!

The meetings are on the SECOND Monday of every month at Christ United Methodist Church on 36th and Harvard at 7:00 p.m. If you would like to contact Maryleta directly, you may do so at homeofmany@yahoo.com or on her cell 918-698-0252. If you are a foster parent, this is a MUST!

Financial Resources for Adoption!

One of the major struggles for families (and a reasonable one) is having the finances to pay for adoption! Adoption can be fairly expensive. When you add up attorney's fees, possible agency fees, home study, filing fees, travel expenses, and any medical or birth mother expenses, the total amount can be overwhelming! We are so excited to tell you about a Christian Program that we have found that helps relieve that burden! Lifesong is a MINISTRY....it's main philosophy is making God's calling in your life possible, by offering many programs to help families adopt children! What a beautiful ministry. They have programs that offer choices such as matching grants or interest free loans! If you are not considering adopting because you believe that you can not obtain the funds, please read this site and contact this Ministry to see if they can help make your dreams of becoming a family come true.



Click HERE to go directly to their website!

$147,289.42 in Attorney's Fees, Costs, etc.

Here is a link to a recent case by the Supreme Court. It should serve as caution when hiring a good attorney. Review thoroughly - this couple paid the above amount for the adoption. The Supreme Court of Oklahoma (Oklahoma's Highest Court) sent it back for the Judge to determine the reasonableness of the fees. If the Judge determines that the amount is unreasonable, the money is ordered to be refunded to the Adoptive Parents. This is a great case for adoptive families and protects the money they spend to make sure every dime is necessary. Also, read so that you know as you spend your money in the adoption, your expenses are approved! Have a good weekend!

HERE IS THE LINK:

IN THE MATTER OF THE ADOPTION OF BABY BOY A

Tax Time.....

The 2009 Federal Adoption Tax Credit will be $12,150.


This is for all qualified adoption expenses in the year the family finalizes their adoption. We recommend families consult a tax professional regarding their tax needs.


PLEASE NOTE: Current tax filing for the 2009 tax season provides for $12,150 adoption tax credit. We strongly recommend adoptive families consult a legal or tax professional for more details.


What is the Hope For Children Act? The Hope for Children Act (Public Law 107-16) provides tax credit for “qualifying adoption expenses” to $12,150.(2009) It also increases the employer adoption assistance exclusion to $10,000.


When did the Federal adoption tax credit go into effect? The Hope for Children Act is effective January 1, 2002. This expanded tax credit will sunset and the Adoption Credit will revert to its original $5,000 cap in December 2010, unless the sunset is repealed. A current bill The Adoption Tax Relief Guarantee Act of 2009, H.R. 213 will extend or make permanent the expanded adoption tax credit. Contact your state senators and representatives to urge their support of this important legislation. To learn more about the Adoption Tax Credit's history, click here.


What are ‘qualified adoption expenses? According to the IRS: “Reasonable and necessary adoption fees, court costs, attorney fees, traveling expenses (including meals & lodging) and other expenses related to, and whose principal purpose is for, the legal adoption of an eligible child.”


Who qualifies for the tax credit? In 2009 persons with modified adjusted gross incomes of $182,180 or less, phasing out for modified adjusted gross incomes up to $222,180.

Do all adoptions qualify for the tax credit? Non-special needs domestic adoptions and FINALIZED international adoptions qualify. Overseas adoptions must be finalized in order to be legal and deemed a US citizen.

What about special needs adoptions? Domestic special needs adoptions are defined as children who are US citizens and determined by the state of residence to qualify for financial subsidy for adoption. We have a special post coming soon by a family who has just adopted a special needs infant domestically, so stay tuned!!!

How does the tax credit work for international adoptions? International adoptions must be finalized. While some adoptions are finalized in the child’s country of birth, state law in the United States governing finalization varies. All states do not recognize “adoption finalization” overseas, requiring families in those states to re-finalize the adoption to qualify for the tax credit.


Can families claim the full credit over multiple years? Yes, the credit can be applied against tax liability over six years or whenever expenses reach the $12,150 cap (2009), whichever comes first.

Asking the Hard Questions

This is a story of a friend that I have grown to love and admire. I asked her if I could share this story knowing that it could help so many of us as we embark on adoption to make sure that our children and their birth families are protected in every way. Please read Charissa's story below and pray for their family!



"It is with great sadness and regret I announce that due to very difficult circumstances we will not be adopting the three children from Ethiopia that we committed to adopt.We hired Celebrate Children International (CCI) to facilitate our adoption. However, as time went on we became increasingly concerned and uneasy about the lack of answers we were getting, the defensiveness of the agency, and mostly, the fact that the agency was so heavily involved in the relinquishment process, when this is clearly a conflict of interest according to every other reputable agency we contacted.


We terminated our contract with CCI, hoping we could find some answers through a private investigation. We were able to find someone who could go to the orphanage personally to interview the children and their mothers. Our suspicions were confirmed by the mothers, CCI had approached these mothers and encouraged families to place their children for adoption to the United States. We have video of the director specifically telling the mother that she could easily find a new family for her child.


Other than the videos, we do not know what the mothers were told or whether they were offered anything in exchange, or why they didn't take the children back when they were offered them, but it was clear "our" three children are/were orphans as a direct result of an adoption agency recruiting and exploiting families and their children. We have been told the orphanage where the children have been residing has cut ties with CCI as well, stating they were also concerned about ethics that were being violated by the agency. The children are now listed with another more reputable agency. We feel peace knowing this new agency is now carefully investigating all the cases of the children at that orphanage who were previously listed with CCI.



It is my prayer that these investigations will result in the children being returned to their biological families.As you can imagine, this has been an extremely long and difficult three months for our entire family.CCI continues to practice in Ethiopia and will most likely continue these unethical practices. We have done what we can to report the evidence we have to the proper authorities, and the agency is now being investigated in Ethiopia and in Florida. Unfortunately when we called the state of Florida, we were told that there have been multiple complaints about CCI, many of them about similar unethical practices in Guatemala but there was little that can be done until Florida updates their laws to include international adoption. The US State Department can only challenge Hague accredited organizations. CCI was denied Hague accreditation and so they are exempt from US State Department scrutiny. There is a loophole that allows unethical and illegal activity to continue and it is explained in this article.We made the difficult decision to challenge our agency by asking them difficult questions. In doing so, we believe we have uncovered things that every adoptive family should be prepared to uncover.



Please pray with us that families can be restored, truth come to light, and that justice will be served. There are so many vulnerable children that are true orphans that do indeed need homes. We will always advocate adoption for those who truly need to be adopted. However, sadly, it has come to our attention that there is a great need for reform and accountability for those who profit from the adoption industry.


This adoption turned out much different than we prayed or imagined. We set out to do good by adopting a sweet little girl wearing a yellow dress, but we pray we have done a greater good by doing what we believe was the right thing to do. We are reminded that those kids were never 'our' kids, they were the Lord's all along. We have relinquished them back into His care, trusting that He will be their Defender, Protector, Father. I just thought you all should know. Thanks for your prayers and support. We are open to questions if you have any."



I will link their blog here in case you want to contact her for questions. May we all learn from the incredible questions that this family asked and decisions they made and may we all follow in their steps!

Definitions

Here are some words that you might hear during the adoption process, and what they mean. These are not "Blacks Law" or "Wikepedia" definitions. This is the layman version of the words!





Agency - Generally the word that refers to the Adoption Agency.





Alleged Father - someone a mother has alleged to be the father of a child, but no court has made a legal finding that he is the father.





AWOC - (Adoption Without Consent) - when a guardian or foster parent moves the court to terminate another parents rights and grant an adoption without the consent of the parent. Can also be a step parent adoption.





Birth Mother - The bioligical mother of the adopted child.





Cost Affidavit - The document you are required to fill out by law that states all the monies you have spent during the process of adoption.





Custodian - The person who has "legal" custody of the child until the adoption is finalized, generally this is DHS or an agency.





D.H.S. - Department of Human Services (in oklahoma referred to as OKDHS)





Domestication - When you have adopted someone in another country, you will want to have your adoption "Domesticated" in the United States.





Domestic Adoption - Adopting a child within the United States.





Finalization - After the parents rights are terminated, the court will move onto the "finalization" of the adoption. Most agencies will not allow finalization to occur until after the child has been in a home for 6 months and has shown to be safe and thriving.





Foster Care - When a child has been removed from a home by the department of human services and the parents are working on getting custody back - the child is placed in a home and this is referred to as Foster Care. (Kinship Foster Care - means a person with a prior relationship with the child - not necessarily a biological relative)





Homestudy - A Social worker comes to your home and does a series of checks on the home and the status of the child and the families bonding with the child. Items included in homestudies are: family members, income, housing information, savings, background checks, DHS history (if any), bonding with the child and the childs current information and medical history.





Lifebook - A book the prospective adoptive family makes for birthparents to review when choosing an adoptive family. This is also called a profile book.





OAC - Oklahoma Adoption Coalition





Probate - This is the court that oversee's adoptions. Generally referred to as the Probate Docket.





Public Defender - Attorney generally appointed in cases where a parent is contesting the adoption. (also known as a conflict attorney).





Transracial Adoption - Adoption by parents who are not the same race as the child/children.

Choosing a Lawyer....

Okay - when we went to the Adoption Task Force Meeting a couple weeks ago, one thing became entirely clear. Some attorneys take advantage of clients. From overcharging, to charging the client to LEARN what the law is, to coercing birth mothers to place a child from adoption etc. It was heartbreaking to hear of story after story where these things had happened. So here are some tips on finding a lawyer.



Where to start:

1. Ask other friends who have adopted who they have used and if they were satisfied.

2. Ask your agency who they recommend.

3. Call the local Bar Association and see who they recommend for Adoptions.

4. Interview multiple attorneys.



What to ask:

1. Will you have an employment contract? An ethical attorney will have a contract that lays out what you have hired them for, what the rate is, how you will be billed, what the retainer is, how you will be charged, etc.

2. How much do they anticipate it will cost? Some lawyers will agree to a flat rate, and some lawyers will want to be paid hourly. Both have their benefits. A flat rate, MIGHT cost you more, but you will know from day one what your costs will be. Hourly MIGHT be cheaper if the adoption moves smoothly. But if not, it would end up costing you. Never be afraid to ask for a discount or a lesser charge.

3. What types of payment do they take? cash, check, credit card or payment plan?

3. How many adoptions have they done? Where have they done them (what counties)?

4. Three references. Most attorneys WILL provide references. I know that sounds weird. But attorney's can give you client comments or references.



When to decide:

1. You want to have your attorney lined up quickly. You don't want wait until the child is born, especially if you have to hire an attorney to preform ALL parts of an adoption (relinquishment of rights and finalization) as opposed to just the finalization. Therefore, the attorney ideally will meet with the birth mother prior to the child's birth. In addition, any bargaining can be done PRIOR to the birth. Once the baby is born, there is NO time to shop.

2. You want to decide quickly because most GOOD attorneys will require a retainer. And depending on what you need done, it will be quite a bit of money. You will want to know up front.



Creative Ideas:

Adoption costs can be high. When it is time, if costs are tight, try calling a large law firm and see if someone can do an adoption pro bono. Ask lawyers for a payment plan. Call legal aid and see if they can help. But remember, you must do these things in advance, they take time. Molly said there might even be some grants to ease the financial burden. Also, MANY employers will help with adoption cost. Check with your workplace and your spouse's to see what needs to be done to apply for this.



Most of all...know your rights. Know that even if you are with an agency, YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO CHOOSE YOUR ATTORNEY. Most agencies will recommend lawyers, but remember when it comes down to it. It is your choice. And because it is our choice, we have to make sure that we are protecting our family, our child and their birth family.

Prayers Please

I am not sure that I have shared on the POA blog that the Adoption Review Task Force has asked Mandy and I to come and speak TOMORROW!



That's right! We need your prayers Thursday, October 15th @ 1:30!



We are one of 3 families sharing concerns for Oklahoma adoption law.



What an honor to be able to discuss this with such a great group of professionals!



What an honor to be able to stand united with Mandy tomorrow.



Please pray for God to speak through us and for our hearts to have peace.



Thank you for all of your support! We'll be sure to update on how it goes!

Adoption/Foster Care Information!!!

I had to post about this because it's a wonderful event packed full of information.

Coming up next month there is a FREE symposium about adoption and foster care.

If you've ever been interested in either of these and need a place to get questions answered and meet professionals in this field... THIS IS THE EVENT!

Here is where you need to go!

I can't tell you how many times that people ask us questions because it's obvious we've adopted.

Then follows... "I've always wanted to adopt, BUT...

...I can't afford it."

...I don't know where to start."

...the information is overwhelming!"

So, if you've said that to me or if you've thought that please go to this event.

This group is committed to getting information into your hands and helping families make their dreams a reality!!!

Have a great day!

Cooper's Law- update

I got a call Friday afternoon at 2:30 from Representative Nelson's office asking if there were anyway I could meet with him @ 4 to discuss Cooper's Law!

I jumped at the opportunity and praised God for His timing! I had just come home from dropping the kids off at Blake's parents house for the night! I had the afternoon to myself and had no time to get anxious about this!!! (Well, okay I got anxious wondering why God was having me talk about laws? I am so not qualified.)

Thank you for all of you that prayed for me. Bad news first: I completely pitted out my shirt because I was so nervous! I tried to capture a picture of it because it was quite hilarious, but it just didn't do it justice. Good news: I didn't throw up and...

HE SUPPORTS COOPER'S LAW!!!!

Praise God for getting this into the right hands. We sat and discussed what some concerns might be and how we should handle that. We discussed why this needed to be changed and what other states already had laws very similar to this. It was such a wonderful meeting and he was so open to my concerns, and he felt this deep need to protect birth mothers. How great is that??? He gets it, from all angles.

He talked about how in trying to protect the adoption process, with this law how it currently stands, we've actually made it harder for birth mothers to place.

He wants to meet our precious Mandy and hear her heart on this law... How incredible is that?

Keep praying for this to move forward. As much as he supports it, he understands there will be opposition. He does not see this "moving to session" or moving this session??? (See I shouldn't be talking about this.) Essentially, this won't happen quickly because he felt like it was a big deal, but he said this law NEEDS TO CHANGE. It cannot stand how it currently does. Praise God!!!

Thank you all for all of your support! We really and truly are amazed at how this has happened. How in the world did we get blessed enough to get this into the man's hands that is currently looking to reform Oklahoma Adoption Laws??? Only by the grace of God. Please keep praying that this law only moves forward if it is right and protects everyone involved to the best of it's ability. Pray that just as they have, doors will open and shut according to God's will. As an incredible woman told me yesterday, God is the author of adoption and He cares about this.

Giveaway....

We have an awesome girl from my church, Raylea Whiteman, who is donating a "Piggies and Paws" to our cause. So we thought the best giveaway would be to a Birthmom. Nothing more beautiful than a permanent piece of art work with her baby's feet and hand prints. If you have ever seen these they are so stinking adorable. Take a little time to view the link above to see how cute these are!

Anywho - here is the give away. Leave a comment about your birthmom, and on September 8th, 2009 we will take all the comments put them in a hat and draw!

It's go time!

If you live in Oklahoma, or know someone that does...I need your help! I am begging you!

Most of you know that for months now we've been working to draw attention to some adoption laws that we believe need attention.

In this mission, I have found an incredible team of professionals that come together monthly to address such needs in the adoption community. I have attended the last two adoption task force meetings and I am continued to be amazed at what all these people are doing. It is such a privilege to just be able to hear what they are doing and watch it all happen right before my eyes. There are judges, DHS representatives, adoption agencies, a public defender and now a birth mother, an adoptive mother and an adult adoptee.

At this last meeting Representative Jason Nelson shared that he has received a lot of requests for issues to be addressed by the task force. I am hoping that some of these requests were about Cooper's Law, but I know that there are lots of adoptive families out there that feel the need to have their concerns addressed! Then he asked the task force if they would be okay asking some families to share with the group their story and why they needed the task force to consider their concerns!!! I was sitting in the back of the room and almost fell out of my chair. How cool would it be for Cooper's Law and Cooper's story to be shared with so many that feel just as passionate about this as I do???

So, I am begging you. If you haven't written Representative Jason Nelson or Senator Steve Russell yet, please do! If you have and you could do so again, PLEASE DO! From what I understand this task force has a lot of weight on what issues in adoption will actually be addressed or changed! If anyone will hear me out, it will be this group. If you do write him please make reference to Cooper's Law. If you know of a personal adoption story in which you think relinquishment in the hospital could have kept an adoption in place that ended up falling through, please share that in your letter or email. Remember that our intent with this change is to protect the child and the birth parent's choice. Our goal here is that birth mothers who want to sign papers in the hospital (or at their agency) can do so without having to sit before a judge.

You can share my name if you want, but you don't have to. I am going to write them again today (for the 4th time). Oh my goodness, I can't believe I have become "one of those people"! But, I will never forget those weeks as we were losing Cooper and feeling so helpless. There was nothing we could do to keep him. I think that feeling is fueling me. In the midst of that journey I felt like it was just a part of adoption and something that had to be risked, but now I know better. Many states are doing this differently and there is no reason why we should continue in something that is not working. And because of that, I feel like I have to at least try to do something. Another incredible thing is that Cooper's birthmom supports this 100% and only wishes this had been in place long ago.

These 3 were some of those that were taken the day we lost Cooper. We were saying good-bye to our sweet baby boy.

On another note, many of you have asked if I had heard if I had been chosen to be on the task force. I found out yesterday that I did not. I joked about not being qualified, and boy was I right! The mom they chose is a wonderful pick as she wrote the bill that in its approval put into affect the adoption task force...she deserves to be on it!

Let's get busy writing some letters/emails! If you click on the representative or senators names it is linked to their info. If you can only write one, please address Rep. Jason Nelson as he was the one addressing the task force with this idea! THANK YOU IN ADVANCE!!!

Transracial Parenting Workshop

I had to share this!

Our agency did a workshop in February and it was incredible. I blogged about it here and we had a wonderful discussion about race and issues that surface in transracial adoption.

So they are hosting another workshop and I am so excited. There will be a transracial adoptee/parent panel! What a wonderful resource for questions!

This is open to any couple that has adopted transracially. It does not matter if it was through another agency or anything. This is how our transracial playgroup got started!

Date: 9.12.09

Time: 9:30am -12:30pm

Location: DPAS offices, Brixton Square 7101 NW Expressway, Ste 325, OKC

Please RSVP to Catherine Howe and prepay by 9.7.09

Here is a link to their site or call 405.949.4200

It is $20 per couple. Brunch snacks provided and children under 6 months are welcome.

Hope to see you there!